Thursday, March 27, 2008


There are some things I don't think I will ever understand.......but am trying my darndest to be sympathetic to.

We had a gal come in for induction the other night. She was single, young (late teens) and having her first baby. Prior to her arrival her sister and cousin showed up to warn us that she was on her way and that the FOB knows she is coming in and may show up later. This is an issue because there is a history of domestic violence. This man, or rather boy (19), had physically beaten this girl on four separate occasions and the last had just been a couple of weeks ago in which he wailed on her for over two hours and left her in pretty bad shape.
Being in charge that night I did not want any drama so I got a description and called to security to give them a heads up and to stay visible and within shouting distance.
The preggo mama arrived with her mother and a friend. We got her settled into her room and had a nice long chat with her about the situation she was in (after making all the others leave the room) and how she was feeling at this time. She was very concerned for the FOB (huh?!) because now that she lived with her parents and they wouldn't let him anywhere near their house that this would be the only opportunity he would get to care for his child. She wanted him to be at the delivery but none of her family or friends did and they made that very apparent (can't say I blame them).
The patient told us that the FOB was just recently (after this last beating) diagnosed with IED, or Intermittent Explosive Disorder and had just been placed on meds to help with his disease.
We told the patient when said FOB arrived that she was not to be in the room alone with him for even a second at any time, for any reason and she agreed with us that would be best.
Well, the FOB did arrive a few hours later, only he was feeling upset because the patient's family members were staring at him and refused to leave the room with him in there. I was just in shock, this guy sat by her bed and held her hand and she just hung all over him! The patient asked us to come up with a solution because her mother and sister refused to leave the room with him there and he was upset because they were just glaring at him the whole time he was in the room and making him feel uncomfortable. So, we ended up devising a schedule for him to be in the room and her cousin to stay in the room with them while her mother and sisters stayed in the waiting area and then they would switch so the mother and sisters could be with the patient and the FOB and cousin would sit in the waiting room.
I still am totally flabbergasted how this girl, having a baby, was only concerned with the FOB not being treated bad or made to feel bad by her family.
When I left the next morning she was in active labor and had just gotten an epidural. I made sure there was a request for social services consult placed in this girls chart.
I feel for her, and try as I might I don't understand her being overly concerned for this guy. She should be concerned for her own safety, as well as the safety of the child she is about to bring into this world. She had been given an opportunity by her parents (whom she and the baby will go home with) to get on her feet and to make a life for herself and her little girl. I just hope she takes it and doesn't go back to this guy.

This most definitely isn't the first domestic violence situation I have run into but it is the one that has affected me the most and one I don't think I will ever forget.

I have been married for 14 years to one incredible guy, who isn't perfect (although he thinks he is) but neither am I. But I can say with 100% certainty that the first time he hits me will be the last.

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